Friday, December 28, 2007

Home Invasion

The whole experience has been a nightmare. I’m just so glad its all over. Over for now, anyway. I feel vulnerable now. Like it could happen again at any minute. I feel I need to change my habits to prevent this sort of thing from happening again. It is hard to be myself in my own kitchen now.

When I saw the first 2 I killed them right out. Then I saw more coming in, and more, and more. They were like an invading army laying siege to my kitchen. Soon there were thousands and no matter how fast I slaughtered them, I couldn’t keep up. This was a massacre of Biblical Proportions and it wasn’t enough.

The recycling bin was attacked first. There was a trail of them an inch thick that lead from an empty can of soup I neglected to rinse out. The trail went down the side of the bin, out the door of the kitchen, in to the butler’s pantry, and down through a small crack at the base of one of the plinth blocks.

I killed as many I could before emptying the recycling bin and the garbage can, and then swept out the closet under the stairs. Even after all of that, it took them another 12 hours to realize there was no more sustenance waiting for them in there. Several times that day I killed as many as I could and still they came like so much fodder for my broom.

After the Battle of the Recycling Bin they laid siege to the sink. Again I killed them by the thousands and again they continued to attack in hordes. They were relentless. After I cleaned everything out of the sink that I thought they were after, they then turned their attention to the faucet. For the next two days, every time I tried to drink some water my glass was filled with their squirming bodies. I think some are trying to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. I think they are trying to poison my water supply with their dead bodies in an attempt to get rid of me once and for all. Maybe they’re not just mindless drones after all.


Anonymous said...

ewwwww Greg - We had the same group of militia attack us this summer. It was awful. The came in droves, and were nearly attacking our poor defenseless 15 pound cats... it was a nightmare. I feel for you buddy.

-Stan (aka MrMoonStruck)

Monica... Media Professional said...

Ew. Yeah, a week or so ago, I had some friends over to my new place in Arcata and as we plopped ourselves down in the front room, my friend looks down and says "Oh, I see where your ant friends are coming from," and pointed to our doorway. My response was "What a--.... oh hell." Then I found the bag of 6 M&Ms that moved from my old apartment to the new one in a box and dumped it in the garbage disposal, watching about a thousand ants scatter in all directions. When I got done squealing like a prissy girl, I went at 'em with the Windex. Bastards.

Greg said...

Hey, Monica Media Professional. I used to work with your mom down at BP.

Monica... Media Professional said...

Yup. Actually, while you don't remember, you also worked there with me for a short time, as well. I worked in the office on a very temporary basis, just coming back to help when they needed me after I left the first time.

My mom told me about your blog, and I have a fascination with old houses, and thus, I subscribed. :-)

Rose said...

Try A-1 in Eureka (if he's still around)- I won't go into detail about his solution, but he's the most honest person in that business, you probably won't be looking at a $200 plus monthly service deal after you talk to him.

Otherwise, Terro II works best in my experience. If you read up on ant eradication online - the one recommendation they make is that you RESIST the temptation to smash them all, you need that trail to tell you where they are coming from, and you need them to carry the Terro back to the nest/colony

Greg said...


Thats funny, I don't remember you working there. I remember you coming in every once in a while, but I didn't know you worked there. It must have been brief. I'm no longer working there myself.


Thanks. I'll check them out.

Kathy from NJ said...

Here in NJ we have the tiniest ants you've ever seen. Our powder room is on an outside wall and twice a year they decide to come in. I spray the floor and then go outside and spray the foundation (Raid ant spray) and then don't see them again for 6 mos. I would not pay money to an exterminator until you've tried some home remedies, it's much more fun to spend $ on wood, nails & paint.

HPH said...

I have used a cleaning product with Orange Oil to successfully discourage and defeat the drones. It cleans up what was attracting them, kills any of them that are still there, removes their 'scent trail' so they don't return, no nasty chemicals, and any left over scent makes the kitchen smell good.