Nuke The Whales

Hey, you gotta nuke somethin’, right?

I broke down and bought a microwave. I haven’t owned one since the Reagan Administration but everyone tells me I need one, so who am I to not do what everyone tells me to do. Wait, I never do what everyone tells me I to do. So in a way, I’m bucking the trend by doing exactly what is expected. That’s odd.

I was doing some more work on the 80s porn closet and decided this would be a perfect spot for a microwave. This is the closet under the back stairs in the kitchen. This is also The Phyllis Petch Memorial Closet because it was behind the false wall at the back of this closet that I found all the hidden treasures left behind by Mrs. Petch back in the Teens or 20s.

I had to add an outlet in there so that meant another trip under the house. It’s been a few months since I’ve crawled around there in the dirt and cat poop. That is something you never get tired of folks, let me tell you. Once again, installing the lights and electrical outlets under there really paid off.

I also installed a light in the closet. Because of the way the door opens it blocks the light from the ceiling fixtures in the kitchen. Because the closet is small with a sloped ceiling I don’t think there is a way to put a light in there and have it meet code. I was trying to come up with a way to have the light turn on and off automatically when the door opens and closes. Honestly, I didn’t try too hard at this. It was really just more of an idea that didn’t go anywhere because I didn’t put much effort in to it. I may revisit this at some point. I ended up putting a simple pull-chain light on the wall just inside the door. I will just use a 40 watt bulb in it.

The closet also still has the redwood floor in it. Because the idiot I bought the salvage fir flooring from doesn’t know what the fuck he is doing I did not have enough wood to do the inside of the closet. I put in a small fir threshold to hide the transition between the two woods. The redwood was then sanded, oiled, and the next time I shellac something I will shellac the floor in there.

The closet has 2 shelves in it. One is a wood blank and the other is a piece of plywood. The other very intersting thing about the shelves is the slats nailed to the walls that the shelves sit on. These are pieces of millwork from the exterior of the house. It is a 1X2 board with a bead detail. This is the same profile that goes all the way around the house at the base of the frieze. The frieze runs just below the soffit and has a series of repeating carved stylized flora designs on it. It was back in the teens or 20s that they put up the 2-story addition. When they did this they removed the details that stuck out on the frieze so the addition would fit snuggly up against the house. It was at this time that they also put up the false wall in the closet thereby hiding the tattered remains of Mrs. Petch’s shattered life. They must have used scraps from the frieze to install the shelves. Waste not, want not. As someone who loves to use salvaged material I have to admire this, but if it were all the same, I would rather that they not have torn the millwork off the house in the first place.



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