Wednesday, May 07, 2008

The Rooster Has Flown The Coop

Roger that! {*crackle*}

As I write, government couriers are transporting highly sensitive documents and photos to a secret government compound in the State Capital. Once there, trained officials will begin the painstaking chore of pouring over these documents with a fine toothed comb. The revelations that will come to light in the weeks and months ahead will shake the very foundation of our civilization.

I sent in my application to have The Petch House listed on The National Register of Historic Places.

This is a process that started more than 3 years ago, and languished for months because, as I’ve said time and time again, I am basically a very lazy person. I finally got every thing together, and with the help of a distant associate, I was able to dot the final Ts and cross the final Is in what will be remembered as one of the finest, most eloquent documents to be crafted since the Declaration of Independence.

I don’t think I’m over stating this, folks. It is that big. And if they can look past the dotted Ts and crossed Is, The Petch House will finally be given the recognition it deserves. It will be given a place of honor along with the other great architectural treasures this country has.

God Bless America!


Carson Park Ranger said...

Congratulations! This calls for a big party. you could ask all of the guests to help sand the floors.

Jenni said...

Well written.

Greg said...

I was thinking about having an open house if and when I make the list. Instead of those cloth booties they make you put on at some historical sites, I could have people stick 100 grit sandpaper to the bottoms of their shoes.

I think you're on to something.

Jennifer said...

Give the first hour of guests the sandpaper in 60 grit, then switch halfway through to 150. :)

slateberry said...

Yeah, and switch from wine to blo and turp at the end. If they've had enough wine, not only will they be oblivious to the switch, but also, they'll splash and spill it all over the floors.