Thursday, July 28, 2005

This Week On The Discovery Channel

Tune in this week to Discover Wood Floor Problems and watch Greg as he discovers yet more problems with the milling of the wood. In this weeks episode Greg finds out that the second batch of wood is also milled incorrectly. It turns out many of the boards have a slight taper in the last 12 inches or so. Also, Greg discovers that some of the boards from the first batch, which Greg thought were good, are in fact milled incorrectly as well. The groove is not deep enough so the boards don’t fit properly. It is just one exciting discovery after another.

Let’s talk to the Johnson Family of Peoria, IL to find out why Discover Wood Floor Problems is quickly becoming the most watched show on TV.

Dad: “It reminds me of some of my projects that went wrong. I enjoy watching others suffer as I did.”

Mom: “I think it’s funny. Everything is going so badly. It’s funny because it’s true!”

Little Janie: “I like the swear words!”

And be sure to tune in next week to discover if Greg is finally pushed over the edge. Will Greg end up in the Clock Tower with a high powered rifle? Tune in next week on Discover Wood Floor Problems only on The Discovery Channel.

5 comments:

Patricia W said...

lol!!! I know your problems aren't funny, but your depiction is hilarious. Sorry to hear the floor (and miller) is giving you such fits and I hope you have better luck with it or at least see this project through soon. Your experience sounds like me when it comes to plumbing...

deb said...

you are so funny

Gary said...

You could get Martha Stewart to stop by with some of her "life transition" friends. They could show you how to make knives out of these floorboards!

Jocelyn said...

we'll talk you down if need be :)

Becky said...

Unless you shoot Martha. Then I'll be mad and won't talk to you.

Because then who will I worship. The only woman close is that Nigela Lawson and she kind of makes me feel dirty when I watch her show (but in a good way).