I’m A Chiropractor!

So, I’m – uhmm –sitting in the bathroom this morning, minding my own business, and when I go to stand up – OW! – my lower back goes out. It is very painful. I have kind of a history with this sort of thing, but I’m willing to bet this has something to do with my 12 hour trip to Hell and Back on Saturday. I make it back to my room and finish getting dressed, which is really difficult. Since I’m still working on the kitchen I normally would go down and get something at the little market on Sundays. Well, I’ve got nothing in the house so I have to at least try. I look a little like a Neanderthal hobbling the 5 blocks to the market to get my coffee, muffin, and newspaper. Every step is painful, but I manage to make it back home where I sit on the front porch reading, drinking, and eating. When I go to stand up its OW! OW! OW! It seems to have just gotten worse.

I make my way to the couch and go on-line to see what’s up. I spend about a half hour sitting and again when I go to stand up it is just excruciating. Obviously sitting is not the answer. At the same time, I can’t just stand motionless in the room for the rest of the day. I decide to go for a short walk and get another cup of coffee. I don’t want to go back to the market because it just seems weird going back there so soon for a second cup of coffee. About a block away from the market is a little drive-through coffee shack. These little drive-throughs have been popping up like mushrooms around here for the past 2 years. It seems like you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting one these days.

I get about 3 blocks down the street and I am really in pain. I almost turn back. I decided to trudge on and I manage to get there, get my precious coffee, and start back. I get about half way home and notice that it is a little easier to walk. About 2 blocks from my house I make a turn instead of going home and decide to walk a little further. After about 5 blocks or so things are really starting to loosen up.

I ended up taking a long, long walk. I was probably gone close to an hour. I walked down some of my favorite streets and looked at some houses, stopped at 2 garage sales on the way, went to the Post Office to check the PO Box, and eventually made it back home. The back was still sore but I was able to walk like a real person and I could take 2 stairs at a time when I walked upstairs. If you ever see me only take one step at a time on a flight of stairs you know there is a problem.

I came back down stairs and realized I needed to return a rental movie. I rented “Million Dollar Baby”, which was a really great movie. I almost ready to call Clint Eastwood a national treasure. I may have to update my profile for this one. Anyway, I figured, what the hell. I’ll go for another walk. The rental place is only about 15 blocks away, but I got about half way there and ran in to one of the guys that works there. He was actually headed to work so I gave the DVD to him. So now what. It was a little after 11:00 so I decided to have lunch. I went to this little Taqauria (sp?) and got a burrito (Yummy!). Now came the moment of truth. I had to sit down and eat. Gingerly I slid in to the booth and read the paper while I ate, the whole time making sure I kept perfect posture. After about 20 minutes I stood up and things felt fine.

Two blocks away Empire Furniture opens at Noon, and it was a quarter to twelve now, so I decided to stroll through Old Town. The place was crawling with tourists. I spend a lot of time down there during the week and this place is usually a ghost town on Sundays, so it was a little odd to see all the families and the hustle and bustle of commerce. It was nice.

I went back to Empire Furniture and found nothing I couldn’t live without. Still it is fun to browse. The places is packed with antiques and newer items, architectural salvage pieces, and hours wares. It is in two turn-of-the-century buildings, covers 3 floors, and is a chaotic mess. I didn’t spend much time there and decided to make my way home. I have to cross 4th & 5th streets to get back to the residential side of the city. These 2 streets are each one-way, and 3 lanes wide. They make up the Highway 101 corridor through the city. As I go to cross 4th street I get about a third of the way and the light starts to turn. I break into to a jog to make it across before the light changes. As I’m doing this, I’m thinking to myself, “This is a mistake”. I just know I’m going to be in a lot of pain once I get to the other side. As it turns out, it seems to have popped something back into place. I’m like 90% by now. I walk the rest of the way home feeling pretty darn good.

I got home and soaked in the tub for a half hour or so, now I’m writing this, and next I’m going to go mow the lawn, and I may even make a dump run! Instead of take two aspirin and call me in the morning, it should be take 2 long walks and get back to work.


Editors Note: No dead cats where swung in the making of this blog entry.