Saturday, October 22, 2005

Blow Back

I had a little run-in with one of the sons today. It wasn’t physical but it did get heated. To be honest, I don’t handle confrontation well. I really don’t like it. I was walking from the shop to the house when Amanda and her son walked over. The conversation started nice enough. He asked a few questions about why I was doing what I was doing. I tried several times to explain to him about the agreement I had had with his brother but he kept interrupting me saying things like, “That’s between you and my brother. I don’t know anything about that.”

I tried to explain to him how this agreement was the issue. I finally asked why he came over here if he was going to repeatedly interrupt me. I told he if he wasn’t aware of the agreement I had with his brother then he didn’t know what was going on. I was finally able to talk a bit about how I had agreed with his brother that I wouldn’t report them to the city for operating a construction company in a residential neighborhood and the illegal buildings if he didn’t park things in front of or next to my house.

It was during this little monologue that my dislike for confrontation showed. My mouth became as dry as a desert, my voice quivered slightly, and I showed a bit of fear. I hate this about myself. I regained composer but it was an opening for him. He became more belligerent.

He kept telling me that he had no control over his brother and he couldn’t do anything about it. I kept telling him that wasn’t my problem. Things went down hill quickly. Me, the son, and Amanda all began to shout and talk at the same time. The son was yelling at me I was yelling at him and Amanda was really trying to calm us both down. I started to walk away a few times but he would say something and I would get back in to it.

Finally he asked if I got permits for all the work I did. I said yes, and I do get permits. I’ve gotten six permits in the last 3 years and all have been singed off on. He then tried to tell me that the buildings on his Mom’s property were grand fathered in. I began to tell him how I had already been through all this and he was wrong. I tried to tell him how building code was established in this city in 1969 and they have a big map book down at city all. They inventoried all structures in the city at that time. If it ain’t on the map it is built without a permit.

I got about half way through telling him when he started to walk away saying things like, “You wait, I’ll find something on you”. I said, “Go for it”. He then said, "Oh yea, I’ll get you. You wait.” I was back in my shop by this time and I could hear his Mom saying, “No David, come on. Don’t be like that…”

I’m sure I’ll have a visit from brother number 2 very soon. He’s the one I really don’t like.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

don't know what all this is about since i don't follow any house blogs, but i hope it works out for you. i feel for you since i have known some people who don't remain calm during arguments or discussions. good luck.

Gary said...

Hey, give their address! I can send them some kitty poo with an Ohio postmark with a note attached that reads "Someone somewhere thinks you're a sh*t".

You could always sneak out at night in a ninja suit, crawl under their vehicle and slap a fish on their engine block....

StuccoHouse said...

For what is is worth, here is what my lawyer friend told me to do in my "situation." Write the guy a letter and send it registered mail (i.e. they sign for it). State that your attorney has advised you to request that due to the hostile situation any future contact must be in writing to you. Hopefully this will freak him out.

Then report in infraction to the proper authorities in writing. Also mention that the other guy has made threats against you. I think your hope here is to preempt any action he tries to take against you...and make anythig he does look like revenge (which it is) and to have the police aware of the situation.

Sigh. Why are some people such jacka**es? Good luck!

Suzanne said...

Greg, I totally sympathise. I hate confrontation too, and it upsets me so much I practically have heart palpitations when I get that angry that I have to have it out with people. My problem is that I get so angry I start crying, which totally ruins the rightous anger thing and is so innefective and girly. I've always secretly envied people who think nothing of jumping into a good yell fest and can walk away clean. My heart is still pumping wildly an hour after the fact.
However, there comes a time when you have to stand and fight, and not let people use you for a doormat. I can't offer you any good advice, but I hope you are able to resolve the situation to your favor, hopefully without having to all Brooklyn on their butts. Good luck!

Chaz said...

Good luck. It's a sad damnded day when law abiding folk try to better their lot and some sad wretch has to make trouble.

Patricia W said...

Eeek! I hate confrontation and just like Suzanne I end up crying like a ninny. I would follow StuccoHouses advice and pay an attorney to draft a letter and have no further physical face-to-face contact with them. Ever. I don't know what else to tell you, I wish I did. Oh yeah, if you do get into another argument, and you start to walk away, and the butt-head says something else, keep on walking and if he follows, call the cops.

Amanda said...

So are they not going to park there any more? It seems crazy that he would spend his time digging up dirt on you when he could just choose to park his equipment elsewhere. Whatever he might be able to find on you surely won't be worse than them tearing down buildings and getting cited for running the business there.

I wonder what the state is on their business license and contractor's license.

Jocelyn said...

I bet it was "talk" and bluster his trying to get the "dirt" on you. These fellows don't sound that industrious riding on Mom's coat tails and causing her trouble in her home.

I know the feeling (quaver). I had to confront some little kids(ages 6-12) about repeatedly trampling and ripping out my tulips and I was scared of them! But they were some rough city kids and I feared retaliation(i.e. more plant destruction). Fortunately they moved away and never hurt my plants again.

Kristin said...

I'm another of the cry-when-angry girls. *sigh* It definitely ruins the effect if you dissolve into sobs and get all red-faced.

These people sound charming. I agree with the others that you should get something in writing.