Friday, August 12, 2005

The Legend of El Broke-o

(Narrated by Ricardo Montalban)

Many thought he was just a legend. He came out of the west spending money like a mad man. It did not matter to him, for he was El Broke-o! The brokest man in all of California! He would laugh as he piled up supplies on the cashiers counter at the hardware store. His wallet flush with ATM receipts. It did not matter how much he spent. It was all for his Casa de Grande. “More, more, more!”, he would cry. He then he would laugh as he swiped the card through the magic box. Town folks watched in awe as he loaded more and more supplies in to his truck. They would hear him exclaim:

Budget!?!? I don’t need no stinking budget!

As the legend goes, one day it all came to an end for El Broke-o. The eating out 3 meals a day. The wild spending sprees. The bills piled up and the ATM receipts too. I must tell you now that he was not just a legend. There really is such a man and he is me. For I truly am El Broke-o.

But there was another legend of a lone hero that would one day come to the rescue. Many had heard of him, but few dared to utter his name. He was known only as Lotto. I dream at night of finding the elusive and mysterious Lotto. Then my life will be perfect. So far, it has not happened, but maybe someday…maybe someday…

12 comments:

derek said...

Yeah, it's amazing how all those small purchases add up... I'm often surprised when my credit card statement comes. A few more months and the party is over for me, then I guess I'll work on the more tedious but cheaper tasks like stripping wood. And reusing salvaged wood to build things.

John said...

We've just about hit bottem.

Our original master plan was contingent on finishing the Devil Queen a year and a half ago. Currently we are selling everything non-essential on eBay. When our closets full of junk are emptied we'll have to fall back on highway robbery. Or worse.

Maria said...

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hear ya, my friend...I hear ya! ROFL!!!!!!!!!

Suzanne said...

Yeah, Lotto would solve about 98% of my problems too. Good luck with that!

Anonymous said...

"You start coding. I'll go find out what they want." ~ Computer analyst to programmer
mars bar cheesecake recipe

Gary said...

What is baroque? When you have no Monet.......

Artsy joke. Sorry. (not really)To coin a phrase (uuughh! Does he ever stop?)

jm@houseinprogress said...

BAH HAH!!! You just brightened up an otherwise VERY cloudy morning for me. Greg, you are super hilarious.

Jocelyn said...

This is the BEST! I could even hear the twangy guitar in the background.

Scott in Washington said...

The legend lives!

When we bought our place, I was showing it to a family member and said something like, "Yah, we'll probably spend our extra money on fixing it up one room at a time."

He said, "Extra money? Man, you can forget about that. You're gonna spend all your money, even money you don't have getting this place liveable!"

Scott in Washington said...

....and he was right

Kristin said...

Hee hee, me too.

Kim said...

All I have to say is thank god for the big box stores' no financing and no payment specials. Thinking we'd be able to move in after two weeks of work (HHHAAAAA!!!) I quit my oppressive job to work on things full time...then the significant other was fired....and 3 months later we have 2 house payments but almost an entirely new kitchen and bathroom that should be done in....two weeks.
Kim, the Dirty House